Period of reflection #2

While the taper stage continues to be a struggle, I'm still trying to focus more on the mental side of the marathon prep.

I've already discussed what I've learnt while running the marathon, but I've learnt a lot about myself as well. People have asked me why I'm running the race and, to be honest, I don't really have a good reason. NY suggested we do it and I just said 'yes'. Any excuse for a trip to New York.

To be honest, in the few short years I've been running, the prospect of running a marathon has always been in the back of my mind. As I moved up the distances, I kept thinking, 'could I do a marathon?'. And I'd always thought if I did one, I'd want to do it somewhere scenic, somewhere overseas - a sightseeing marathon, as it were. So the offer to do NYC with a great friend was too good to pass up.

Not having a specific reason hasn't really affected my motivation either. Sure, we've been raising money for a very good cause - a personal cause - and that is an added incentive. But in a way the fundraising is just as much an incentive for friends and family as it is for myself - it's almost as if they need me to be raising money for a charity to be able to understand my motivation. I almost feel bad saying I am running it because I want to see if I can. This clearly makes me sound insane.

But I do want to test myself. I'm not just testing myself against the 26.2 mile distance either. One of the reasons I did not think I could do a marathon was the training it entailed. I thought 'there's no way I'd be able to stick to training for a marathon, not with my job/commitments/total lack of self-discipline'. But I have stuck to it and, up until the last couple of weeks, actually enjoyed it. This alone has been a revelation to me and it's taught me something about myself - that I can stick to a challenge when I choose to.

I've been thinking a lot about mantras lately. To help my motivation, I've been rereading my two best running 'bibles' - Haruki Murakami's 'What I talk about when I talk about running'  and Dawn Dais 'Nonrunner's Marathon Guide for Women: Get Off Your Butt and on with Your Training'. These are both very different books (let's just say Mr Murakami is somewhat more 'cerebral') but both in their own way are reassuring in that I can identify with the running experiences of both writers.

Murakami's mantra is 'pain is inevitable, suffering is optional' (I think he may be referring to the blister on my left foot), Dais' motivation is 'pineapple cocktails with umbrellas in them'. Paula Radcliffe, who will be getting a whole hour head start on me come November 1st, counts her steps. No wonder she runs so fast.

I say, whatever works for you. But when the going gets tough in 10 days time, I might repeat ad infinitum, 'I can stick to a challenge...'

LON