Missing you already

It's now been 10 days since I ran the London Marathon. I've managed to run for 5 minutes in that time, on a treadmill. And that was long enough to tell me that I'm not fit to run.
My knee niggle during the race has not eased through rest, so I have caved in and visited a physiotherapist, who has diagnosed ITB friction syndrome. I'm relieved with the diagnosis, because I know many runners who've had ITB problems and know you can come back from it relatively quickly. I've been given some fairly painful exercises to do and need to work on strengthening my glutes (I always knew I had a lazy arse, now it's official). But I am not to run - swimming or light stationary cycling only for me.

It's been less than 24 hours since I was told not to run, and 3 days since my knee expressed its own concerns on the treadmill. But I am already pining. I have a gaping hole in my life. It's not even the marathon training, it's the fact I can't pull on my shoes and go out there and do something that has been a major part of my life for the last few years.

It's a year since I last had an injury that put me out for a few weeks, but that injury was not on the back of a 5 days a week training regime. How do I fill my time without those 5 activities. How do I clear my head and get my thoughts sorted without my regular meditative run? How do I burn off enough calories to eat a slice of that cake I made?  Now I have to pay to go in a gym or a swimming pool, I can't just head out for free to the streets or the park. I'm like a kid who can't play out in the garden anymore, and has to be ferried around in their parents' car instead.

It's not just the run itself. I hadn't realised how much running facilitates other parts of my life. Most importantly, working from a home office, it gives my day a focus, away from the computer and the telephone. It makes me feel fit and healthy, whereas now I am listless and feeling scatty. I have forgotten or lost multiple things in the last few days. My mind is suffering as well as my body.

But I know I need to give the leg the treatment it needs, so I can come back strong enought to run those half marathons and marathons. I need to make sure I am at my strongest for New York in November, and give myself the best shot possible of a sub-2 hour half marathon before then. So I am trying to be patient.

But I miss it