Don't panic

It was all going so well. My 20 milers were under my belt, and my last run before the Yorkshire marathon taper was the Ealing half marathon. I had a great race, with a significant PB, but it wasn't all plain sailing.

At about mile 11 in Ealing, I got a pain down the outside of my left knee. Recognising it as a 'not stopping' pain, I carried onto the finish and headed home as soon as possible to start recovery. I had run a lot of miles in my last high mileage week and ran a fast (for me) half marathon, so I knew I needed to look after myself. The knee continued to hurt going down stairs for a couple of days, so I tried to stay off my feet as much as possible.

A couple of days after the half, after the pain had completely gone, I went out for an easy 4 miles. Except only 2 of them were easy, the other two home were painful. This knee thing was not going away. I decided to rest. I wasn't panicking yet.

After no pain for a few days, I went out again for a couple of easy runs on the Friday and Saturday. No issues, but both were short-ish distances. On the Sunday, I attempted my last significant long run - 12 miles. All went swimmingly for 10.4 miles, I felt good and I was enjoying my running. Then, bang, ouch went the knee again. Luckily I was near enough to home to divert and get back as soon as possible. 

I was panicking a bit. I thought I recognised the pain as an ITB related issue, from my experience in VLM 2012 on the other leg. And a session with the amazing Simon Lamb sadly confirmed it. 

My knee essentially is the mouthpiece for the rest of my lower body, saying 'please can we stop now, it's been a very busy year?'. Unfortunately, while I sympathise hugely with my body, it's timing is lousy. Could it not keep its tantrums in check until after the York marathon? 

I've now not run for over a week. Just rest, stretching and some very painful poking to release my trigger points. I miss running, but more importantly, I miss the feeling of being prepared for my marathon. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. But I'd be lying if I said I was totally panicking either.

I have spent the last few weeks of my training desperately trying to talk myself into a 'can-do' approach.  I've had a few bad moments out there in training this summer, a few meltdowns, a couple of quitting incidents and many, many doubts. Yet my running and my pacing has stayed sound, so I've tried very hard to focus on the mental side of things, with little inner pep talks to remind me that my negative thoughts are the only thing stopping me from running a sub 4 round York next week. 

So now, when a physical problem presents itself, I almost feel liberated. At first my negative side went, 'ooh, goody, an excuse not to have to attempt sub 4 hours'. But then my positive side said, 'sod that, misery guts - I desperately want a sub 4 hour and I've never been so close to achieving it'.

I'm not panicking yet. My mind is stronger than a bit of tendon. Other, more expert people, are helping me treat the physical side of things, but I'm the only one that can treat the mental side of this. So I am staying positive. I've been using all the extra time I used for running to stretch, poke, think about stretching and poking, and work out how the hell I am going to get to the start on race day.

Trying to stay positive, I tell myself I'll be well rested on marathon day. My legs and joints will be slightly undertrained, but not fatigued. That this lay-off might actually increase my chances of a sub 4hr marathon. 

On Saturday morning TV, I heard the former heptathlete Denise Lewis say that she hadn't trained for 9 weeks before she won her gold medal due to a ruptured achilles. Yet she still won gold, because she'd worked so hard and so long before her injury.

So I need to remind myself I've run over 970 miles this year. I've run my long runs at the required pace. I've run my training races at the target times. I was on this over a week ago. And I'm not going to let a little extended taper keep me from giving my sub 4hr marathon my best shot.

The moment of truth will be tomorrow, when I go back for a sports massage and we see just how much happier my ITB is that it was over a week ago. But for the moment, I'm still running York and I'm still gunning for sub 4 hours. Wish me, and my left leg, luck.