Built for comfort, not for speed

Someone had better explain to me the benefits of interval training, and fast. Because I'm beginning to doubt whether this does any good at all.

Are you supposed to wheeze like a 60-a-day asthmatic? Is your left knee supposed to make that noise? Are your achilles heels supposed to try and leave your body after 3 miles? Is that the plan? Is it? Is it really?

Yet again, I failed to complete the interval training session proposed by my training plan last night. Admittedly it was a vast improvement on last week, in that I didn't get any cramps and I didn't have to stop and walk any distance. On the downside, I did have to stop at one point because I thought I might throw up, which I didn't think was part of the plan.
Instead of 3 x 1m fast intervals with 400m recoveries, and a 1 mile jog at either end, I managed 1 mile jog, 0.9 mile interval with 400m recovery, 0.75 mile interval with 500m recovery and vomit avoidance tactics, 0.5 mile interval with 400m recovery and weird-noise-emitting knee, 0.5 interval and the world's slowest jog home. It's the most piecemeal 5 miles I've ever done
The fact that I think this is an improvement only speaks volumes for how bad last week's effort.

It doesn't help that every time I start a 1 mile fast interval, an uphill section begins*. Perhaps I need to plot a flat route for interval training next week and see if that helps. And if it doesn't, just accept I am built for comfort, not for speed.

Trainer update: well, they're still holding up. Still look shiny and white and new, although I think tonight's weather forecast will soon sort that situation out.
Looking forward to a steady 3 mile 'recovery' run tonight to test them out on the easy stuff.

LON

*And dodging drunks at bus stops is not ideal either